I followed my heart and things still didn’t work out.

I followed my heart and things still didn’t work out.

Many people assume that if their heart is urging them to do something, they should do it. Then there are all these people who “followed their heart…” and were disappointed or found themselves ultimately continuing a pattern they were trying to avoid, like dating the same type of person over and over again. 

That’s why I want to have this conversation, to help correct this misperception that somehow our emotions always tell us the truth. 

Have you ever heard that saying “There’s a thin line between love and hate?” The world of emotions is a rollercoaster because we are so often dealing with repressed negative emotions that get triggered by current events that “look” something like what happened to us in the past but aren’t really the same thing. That means that you could be having a perfectly refreshing experience, and in a flash, just because something unconsciously reminds you of something that hurt you before, your entire mood takes a dive, and you might not even know why! 

Now, don’t get me wrong. Decision-making from the heart is 1000x more powerful than the head, and that’s because, at least you’re in touch with some feelings on the matter. But, it has its limitations. Especially if we’ve had unresolved trauma, then for the sake of our own survival, and the very fact that your brain is in fight or flight, you might be frozen in fear, and numbed out to where you can’t feel anything in your heart about the matter. What’s more is overstimulation, especially from the media has this incredible ability to inject us with desires and convince us that we need or want something. In fact, it’s not the thing we need, but a primal insecurity, conflict or trauma was “solved” on TV with an idea, and we get convinced that without that “thing” we won’t be complete! One more scenario that’s all too common is a side effect of empathy. Highly empathetic people will pick up on other peoples’ desires, and if they aren’t great at distinguishing their feelings from the feelings of others, they will think another’s desire is their own, even if it’s a desire for a certain person! Yes, there are many reasons why our heart signals might be messed up, and that’s why it’s not a sure shot. Sometimes, we are even riding high on emotions because we are triggered in the current moment. Something in the present moment reminds of something bad (or even good!) we experienced in the past and brings forth all sorts of unresolved feelings about it, projecting them onto the current subject.

If we were perfectly healed, then the feelings in our heart would be pure, but most of us are still working on that and so the story goes. 

Now, you don’t want to just dismiss feelings in your heart, because they present a great opportunity for some acceptance, forgiveness or letting go of the past. Something currently happening in your life might act as a catalyst to finally face down a long-standing conflict you’ve had based on trauma, for example.

But, I wouldn’t tell you that your intuition is solely based on feelings in your heart chakra. Not so!

Your intuition is far more profound. Your intuition is beyond emotion. That gut feeling is well, it's in your gut. Think of it as the unconscious mind, a vast store of information about you and everything else in the Universe that your intellectual mind can’t logic. 

What I’m saying is get all the way into your gut feelings. When your heart speaks to you, ask your gut if you should follow through. This single act alone can save you a lot of heartache. So instead of asking what your heart is telling you to do, talk to your belly. Precisely two inches below your belly button is the Second Chakra. Look for that yes vibe or no vibe emanating from deep in the pit of your stomach, and you’ll have an overwhelmingly accurate GPS as a sidekick. It will not disappoint. I promise.